That Sudden Marriage Means a Lot

Photo Credit: unisophro-tourcoing.com

I've had this thing in mind for a while now, but never felt it's that serious a thing to discuss with people (or, should I say, I expected everyone to have a basic knowledge about it?). I only decided to share it today because it just doesn't seem ready to stop happening, and many have faced this relationship shock without knowing they have. It's something you probably might have come across either in your own life or in that of others. Maybe you experienced it long time ago, or you will one day come across it in the future - once again, ether in your own life or others'. It's no other thing than that sudden marriage between your (acclaimed) partner and someone out there. While urging you take note of the word 'sudden', I hope this write-up doesn't come to you as entirely new and strange.
Before I say any other thing on this topic, please permit me to tell you this brief life story. I had this nice friend of mine whose relationship with his girlfriend was more popular than that overrated magician in your neighbourhood. These guys behaved as though they were married already - or at least, close to marriage. Seeing them walk bye, would make you jealous; it would make you think all that glitters will be law be 24 carat gold! Their relationship, to the outside observer, was the best of its kind. I doubt if there's anyone in that area that didn't know about the 'couple'. However, I still can't explain my shock till date: the guy just got married to another lady months after they finished from their one-year programme! To make matters worse, the guy met his wife (the new lady) within this one year, meanwhile he had been dating the other, popular one for years!
In case you didn't understand that short story above, let me explain it in another form. It's like you and your longstanding partner moving to another state or country to spend a year or two doing your internship. Of course, you'll meet many other students who have been offered internship opportunities just like you and your partner. Everyone is equal, everyone is a colleague, everyone is happy, and everyone knows you have a date (others have too, but yours seems most pronounced). You successfully finish your internship after one year and return home with your partner. Six months later your partner marries one of your internship colleagues! It's a sudden marriage. Isn't it? What do you think: they just met and got married within six months after their internship, or they've possibly been dating in the secret during the internship?

I've seen that in life many people are extremely good at accepting anything and everything that comes and goes. No time to be critical at all. Yet, there are others who are good at asking questions, considering every little thing, being very inquisitive (and, I must say, you don't need to be in the university for you to be inquiring). Taking a clue from the story above, how long was your relationship (or, if you're still dating, how long have you guys been together)? If it's in years, or, by your own measurement, it's long enough, then we've got our first cue. Secondly, did you finally get married to your partner? If no - or maybe you nearly lost them to an outsider - then we've got our second cue. Let's get it started.

Photo Credit: askmen.com

From the first cue above, imagine you guys were together for a long time. You've smiled and cried, quarrelled and settled, walked in the rain and under the sun, promised and failed each other, but in all have been able to love and trust each other. Was your relationship public: your parents, friends - everyone knew about it? Let's say your relationship's a solid one, and as a result of this, you possibly just felt you're in a serious relationship with marriage as the end product. However, was there any time your partner wanted to get married to someone else? Or, if in your case your partner actually did marry someone else, were you shocked? Did you ask yourself how, when and where your partner built the other relationship that they suddenly got married?

Similarly, in the second cue, you possibly didn't lose your partner to another person (although it nearly happened as you were dating). However, did you ever care to ask how, when and where your partner built the other relationship that they suddenly wanted to get married? Judging from your relationship, let's be frank, marriage doesn't just come without some meaningful period of dating and courtship. So, here comes the big question: since you and your partner were (or maybe are) still in a relationship, how come they suddenly got (or attempted getting) married to someone else? The answer is simple: he/she was (or is) cheating on you. It's almost impossible for someone to just wake up and get married to another person without building a relationship with that person. So there's a high level of possibility your partner dated you and the other person at same time. That's why they were able (or attempted) to get married in that 'short period of time'. They've been knowing each other at your back!
This has been common place in our world today. Our guys and ladies have been both victims and culprits. It could possibly be a way of life to many, but to me, it's a sad thing, and the reason is not far-fetched. I one of my posts I talked about 'lying' and 'cheating' as the most heartbreaking evils to commit in any relationship. Maybe I'm taking the enormity of these two things too far. Maybe they mean a different thing to me and a different thing to you. I shouldn't dwell on this topic here, but it's imperative that I say it till everyone understands this point: you make your partner appear stupid when they believe and live in your lies! If I told my my that I got an 'A' in my exams and she went about jubilating and telling neighbours about her child's 'success', my conscience would nail me to the cross for making my mum stupid. That's what happens when you lie to people, generally. That aside.

I wouldn't blame people who have suffered this kind of sudden breakups without bothering to ask questions. Some people see it as mere destiny (I won't discard that, anyway), while others would feel it's just a 'sudden' thing and nothing more, a matter of chance. Again, you might be forced to believe you're at fault (which is possible). But the truth is what I've just told you: you've been busy dating someone who's been dating someone else together with you. Such sudden marriages are the manifestation of plan B. Some people have up to plan F! So be curious to know where you stand. Although, of course, it's not always true that all sudden marriages as seen here come as a result of some longstanding cheating, I advise you start asking questions when such happens.
Happy new month, guys!