Welcome to this lovely eye-opener, something thousands of homes have been waiting for. Guess you had a nice time reading through our last post? The one at hand complements that. But before we start, it's imperative to caution that this piece of work demands a ready, sincere, peace-loving heart to be able to implement what's being said here. Building a peaceful relationship demands that we first be ready to seek peace. So here we go!
If there's one factor that has successfully ruined people's marriages, it's the issue of dealing with one's "ex" (ex- here means your former partner). In today's world, more and more people are constantly getting involved in one pre-marital relationship or the other. Some feel love is sweet, while others readily opt for lust instead. Not surprising everyone has a partner (at times partners!) who take away their problems - sensual relief, financial assistance, social accomplice, and many more. However, what happens after you leave such a partner? What happens after you get married? That's the problem we're faced with here.
Love is such a strong thing that once ignited might become uncontrollable and unbreakable, depending on the parties involved. In yet another instance, it's hard to find love but easy to lose it - in fact, very easy! This, too, depends on certain circumstances which, of course, I won't address here. But let me ask, have you ever found yourself cheating on your (current) partner - whether husband/wife or a potential one? Or, are you being tempted to cheat in your current relationship? With whom are you doing the cheating? More often than not, it's your "ex"! This confirm the assertion that it's easy to have feelings or fall for your "ex" again, even when you're married or in a new, serious relationship. Isn't it? Well, I'll come back to that later.
Without wasting much of your time, when you go into a new relationship what should you do with/to your former partner? It's simple: you're advised to break EVERYTHING that would connect you with your "ex". No other gospel could sound any clearer on this. Sure, some people are mature enough to let go, respecting and allowing you to focus on your new relationship. Yet, there are some good-for-nothing people out there who are bent on following you over, causing hell to rain hard on your new relationship. Not only that, you're at fault as well, if you've ever experienced this. The reason for blaming you is not far-fetched: your "ex" can't force you to do what's not on your mind to do. Therefore, still having secret dealings with your "ex" means you've given them your approval. The consequences? Legion! You've just sold your relationship's or marriage's dignity. You're toying with your new relationship and at the risk of losing it. What about health concerns? Imagine how you've suddenly made your new, lovely, innocent partner walk about worthless. Imagine how you've suddenly allowed someone to use your head and your current partner's. Imagine how you've willingly sold your spouse's glory to an outsider.
Nowadays, it's commonplace to see online, or hear people say, "I'm nobody's ex". Well, most people say this out of hatred, jealousy which come as a result of a broken relationship. Let's get something new: although the name "ex" is inevitably there as part of your life history, every sane person should know that once you're into a new relationship, you cease to be an "ex". That "stigma" should not follow you, else it will affect your new relationship. Once you're in a new relationship, do NOT see yourself as someone's former man or woman; that past shouldn't follow you into your future (although, of a truth, some pasts pave way for a brighter future - and sometimes better than the future!). Human-human relationship is not like human-thing relationship. You can always go back to your former school and run a programme or take part in an activity. But you can't always go back (and ethically unacceptable) to run things with your "ex". That said, once in a new relationship, the following things MUST cease to continue in your life:
1. You must cease to receive gifts from your "ex". Your current partner must approve of it before you accept such. In fact, to be more cautious, still reject as many offers as possible even if your partner approves of them. This is because your partner might have no idea what your "ex's" intentions are. Very important.
2. You must cease to engage in chats, calls, and every form of communication with your "ex" as against your partner's wishes. Your new partner is your concern, hope and life, never your "ex". Or do you have a good toolbox to panel-beat your new relationship? Because it's likely going to fail!
3. You must cease to visit your "ex". Not even in the dream, you know. I see a lot of people sneak in and out of their former partners. Whether you do nothing bad with them during such visits and sit-outs, you remain a suspect of infidelity. Remember your current hubby is not omnipresent. So they're prone to suspect you based on three key senses - what they see, hear, feel.
4. You must cease to talk about your "ex". Don't even mention them in the presence of your new partner, depending on the circumstance on the ground. No doubt, many couples today know who and who dated their spouse. But if your husband or wife doesn't like your "ex" due to an issue on ground, just steer clear their name. Stop comparing honey to your "ex"; stop praising them in your new home.
5. You must cease to have details of your "ex" with you, eg. pictures and old gifts. Time to discard stuffs! You don't need to be told that the best way to leave someone is to do away with all the physical things that remind you of them. This in turn works on your inner being and gradually removes the person from your heart.
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| Credit: aliexpress.com |
Love is such a strong thing that once ignited might become uncontrollable and unbreakable, depending on the parties involved. In yet another instance, it's hard to find love but easy to lose it - in fact, very easy! This, too, depends on certain circumstances which, of course, I won't address here. But let me ask, have you ever found yourself cheating on your (current) partner - whether husband/wife or a potential one? Or, are you being tempted to cheat in your current relationship? With whom are you doing the cheating? More often than not, it's your "ex"! This confirm the assertion that it's easy to have feelings or fall for your "ex" again, even when you're married or in a new, serious relationship. Isn't it? Well, I'll come back to that later.
Without wasting much of your time, when you go into a new relationship what should you do with/to your former partner? It's simple: you're advised to break EVERYTHING that would connect you with your "ex". No other gospel could sound any clearer on this. Sure, some people are mature enough to let go, respecting and allowing you to focus on your new relationship. Yet, there are some good-for-nothing people out there who are bent on following you over, causing hell to rain hard on your new relationship. Not only that, you're at fault as well, if you've ever experienced this. The reason for blaming you is not far-fetched: your "ex" can't force you to do what's not on your mind to do. Therefore, still having secret dealings with your "ex" means you've given them your approval. The consequences? Legion! You've just sold your relationship's or marriage's dignity. You're toying with your new relationship and at the risk of losing it. What about health concerns? Imagine how you've suddenly made your new, lovely, innocent partner walk about worthless. Imagine how you've suddenly allowed someone to use your head and your current partner's. Imagine how you've willingly sold your spouse's glory to an outsider.
Nowadays, it's commonplace to see online, or hear people say, "I'm nobody's ex". Well, most people say this out of hatred, jealousy which come as a result of a broken relationship. Let's get something new: although the name "ex" is inevitably there as part of your life history, every sane person should know that once you're into a new relationship, you cease to be an "ex". That "stigma" should not follow you, else it will affect your new relationship. Once you're in a new relationship, do NOT see yourself as someone's former man or woman; that past shouldn't follow you into your future (although, of a truth, some pasts pave way for a brighter future - and sometimes better than the future!). Human-human relationship is not like human-thing relationship. You can always go back to your former school and run a programme or take part in an activity. But you can't always go back (and ethically unacceptable) to run things with your "ex". That said, once in a new relationship, the following things MUST cease to continue in your life:
1. You must cease to receive gifts from your "ex". Your current partner must approve of it before you accept such. In fact, to be more cautious, still reject as many offers as possible even if your partner approves of them. This is because your partner might have no idea what your "ex's" intentions are. Very important.
2. You must cease to engage in chats, calls, and every form of communication with your "ex" as against your partner's wishes. Your new partner is your concern, hope and life, never your "ex". Or do you have a good toolbox to panel-beat your new relationship? Because it's likely going to fail!
3. You must cease to visit your "ex". Not even in the dream, you know. I see a lot of people sneak in and out of their former partners. Whether you do nothing bad with them during such visits and sit-outs, you remain a suspect of infidelity. Remember your current hubby is not omnipresent. So they're prone to suspect you based on three key senses - what they see, hear, feel.
4. You must cease to talk about your "ex". Don't even mention them in the presence of your new partner, depending on the circumstance on the ground. No doubt, many couples today know who and who dated their spouse. But if your husband or wife doesn't like your "ex" due to an issue on ground, just steer clear their name. Stop comparing honey to your "ex"; stop praising them in your new home.
5. You must cease to have details of your "ex" with you, eg. pictures and old gifts. Time to discard stuffs! You don't need to be told that the best way to leave someone is to do away with all the physical things that remind you of them. This in turn works on your inner being and gradually removes the person from your heart.
6. Avoid giving your "ex" a special attention in and out of the presence of your new partner. Be extra careful. From the day you parted ways, your "ex" remains a normal person like everyone out there. Don't allow one thing or the other make you show any strong disposition to them. You might end up seeing your new relationship look like what has been co-jointly beaten up by Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson.
Now you have the clue, you can add more to the list while I move on.
There's virtually no way your new partner will see you engage in all this without having a second thought, or without wanting to know what's still happening between you and that "ex" of yours. It's a natural tendency. You must avoid it. Help reduce domestic violence...and that's not funny!
It's true that at times one can have a good "ex". Such fellows can be of help even to your new spouse. They can assist your new relationship/family and all that. Such old lovers can turn to be angels, real time helpers, very good family friends. But nowhere has it been written that they have the right to take the place of your partner in your life. You're still subjected to the likes and dislikes of your partner, and them to yours. But your relationship first! If you must seek the help of your "ex", your partner MUST approve of that before it takes place. It shouldn't take place only for you to inform your partner later. You don't want to be an expensive comedian with dry jokes.
But what if my "ex" is such a good person, yet my partner hates them and still suspects we have something doing? God is a jealous God. So man, not being all-knowing and all-seeing, must be a jealous man. You can't take that away from humans! As for you the new partner, please ensure your potential partner has cut off every form of attachment to their "ex" before you go into the new relationship. Else, you might have to trek from Scotland to England as a result of mental issues developed in your new relationship. Yes, it can be that serious, especially to those who really pour out their heart to love. They get affected the most. You seriously have no business again with your "ex"!! So? Why not stay faithful today? Why not let go of the past? Why not be a spouse full of dignity? Why not let people learn good things from you? Help redefine the world around you! Sit back, see and accept your mistakes, rise up with force like Usain Bolt would sprint; rebuild your family. I leave you with this quote from Dove's Heart's Facebook page: "I hear a lot of people say - and pitiably believe it - that you will always have something doing with your 'Ex-' once you meet. It's high time we knew the difference between a flirt and a faithful person. Faithful people are disciplined, and can NEVER go back to their vomit (Ex-) when they're into a new relationship, no matter how man times they come across each other".
Did you learn anything today? Please show us some love by sharing this and commenting your thoughts below.
 |
| Credit: greenweddingshoes.com |
It's true that at times one can have a good "ex". Such fellows can be of help even to your new spouse. They can assist your new relationship/family and all that. Such old lovers can turn to be angels, real time helpers, very good family friends. But nowhere has it been written that they have the right to take the place of your partner in your life. You're still subjected to the likes and dislikes of your partner, and them to yours. But your relationship first! If you must seek the help of your "ex", your partner MUST approve of that before it takes place. It shouldn't take place only for you to inform your partner later. You don't want to be an expensive comedian with dry jokes.
But what if my "ex" is such a good person, yet my partner hates them and still suspects we have something doing? God is a jealous God. So man, not being all-knowing and all-seeing, must be a jealous man. You can't take that away from humans! As for you the new partner, please ensure your potential partner has cut off every form of attachment to their "ex" before you go into the new relationship. Else, you might have to trek from Scotland to England as a result of mental issues developed in your new relationship. Yes, it can be that serious, especially to those who really pour out their heart to love. They get affected the most. You seriously have no business again with your "ex"!! So? Why not stay faithful today? Why not let go of the past? Why not be a spouse full of dignity? Why not let people learn good things from you? Help redefine the world around you! Sit back, see and accept your mistakes, rise up with force like Usain Bolt would sprint; rebuild your family. I leave you with this quote from Dove's Heart's Facebook page: "I hear a lot of people say - and pitiably believe it - that you will always have something doing with your 'Ex-' once you meet. It's high time we knew the difference between a flirt and a faithful person. Faithful people are disciplined, and can NEVER go back to their vomit (Ex-) when they're into a new relationship, no matter how man times they come across each other".
Did you learn anything today? Please show us some love by sharing this and commenting your thoughts below.
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Thanks for the time spent.
Thanks a lot for this. So useful
ReplyDeleteWow!! Nicely written. Kudos.
ReplyDeleteWow!! Nicely written. Kudos.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Janny. Abadie? Winks
DeleteAvoir une bonne chérie jour!
This is just so nice! I hope Hollywood hears this! It hurts to meet someone new, only to find out they're still having an affair with their ex. Crazy. Ain't it? XX
ReplyDelete