Hi
guys! Glad you were one of those who couldn't wait to hear from the
most peaceful bird on earth, the Dove. *Winks*. Something very special,
yet shocking; something that will leave you broken after reading - is
just before your face today: it's the exposition on why couples suddenly
become unfaithful and or less interested in each other, after years of
getting married. Believe me, this is one of the sweetest truths you've
ever come across in life. Maybe you've heard it somewhere else - or you
heard it but didn't pay much attention to it - today I've revisited it
just for you. As usual, Dove will always be sincere in all ideas shown
on this platform, because I want to see you live a peaceful, joyful,
problem-free life in all that you do. However, I must say, this post
majorly concerns those who are married (in fact, including those who are
about to marry. If you just want to gather enough knowledge against
your relationship/marriage tomorrow, please feel free to read this).
From
what I've seen and read, from my experience in handling people's
relationship problems, one thing has stood out that I felt I should
share with you all today. Have you ever asked why you - or someone else
out there you might have known - suddenly lost interest or became
unfaithful in their marriage? Take a lovely moment and ride with me on
this thinking spree. Remember how you met your partner, when he/she was
the only 'apple' or 'honey', the only 'sugar' and one who could take
your breathe away? Remember those days when you turned a self qualified
spy, when you would never stand seeing someone of the opposite sex get
close to your partner, when you guys were symbiotically all over each
other at the initial stage? Words can't explain this, I must confess.
You would lose your friends and ready to fight anyone you suspected of
trying to snatch your newly found love. You could spend your school fees
on him/her, you kept late night, you went to places, did things you
normally wouldn't do, created more enemies than friends - all because
you're too jealous to allow someone get close to your fresh catch. These
are the feelings nearly (if not all) everyone has when newly into a
relationship.
However,
how long did all that White-House-protection euphoria you gave your
sweetheart last? Do you still feel same way today after you guys got married? Or does your spouse
still feel same way about you today? You've probably been married for
some years now, and you're already being tempted (or have already
started) to cheat on your husband/wife; maybe your case is that you're
just losing interest in your spouse, as that initial love is gradually
feeling dizzy. In this case, Mr. husband closes from work, but decides
to sit at a bar drinking and playing snooker, or watching some movies and
laughing with friends. Mrs. wife has just ordered the maid to make food
for her husband, while she's out driving to absolutely nowhere serious.
She probably wants to sit out with her friends, or go to Silverbird
Cinemas in Ikeja, or just to feel how London's Chinese Village looks
like. The truth is these sweethearts are tired of each other. I didn't say they dislike each other. I didn't say they want to break up. They're just weary of each other. Why? Let's find out.
World's
population should hit 8billionn now, and so we should expect everyone's
problems to be different. In this case, there are loads of reasons why
couples get tired of each other, or why they begin to cheat. Nothing on
earth would make me attempt exploring all that. Here, I will only
tell you one reason why couples suddenly feel weary of each other after their marriage: lack of competition in marriage. How did you
feel hearing that? I hope it's not too strange? Well, it may seem
laughable, it may make you rather more curious to read more on it, or
it may leave you in between sixes and sevens. The truth, however, remains that mere lack of competition in marriage has been one of the strong, yet unknown, reasons many have been cheating on their spouses...and this transports us to the world of economics.
In
economics, you can't do without the ever creepy monster called
'competition'. Competition, according to the Advanced English
Dictionary, is 'an occasion on which a winner is selected from among two
or more contestants'. It follows you and your business every single
location you go to. As a boy/man running after a girl/woman, from the
general knowledge we get, you're bound to be curious to get that person
by all means possible, knowingly very well other people are very much
interested in same person you're dying for. That's competition. You're not ready for
marriage yet at this stage. If the crush is a 'wicked' type, they will give you the butterfly effect before you can get them: running after one
person disorganises your entire schedule; you follow them in and out of
order, you lose control of yourself, you miss more important things,
and sometimes you land yourself in more serious problems - all because
you're chasing a lady/man. When they finally agree to be your partner,
you start being jealous knowing very well they're still very much
exposed to admirers out there. He or she is not your legally married
partner, and competition is as sure as Leicester City winning an EPL
team in the 2015/2016 season. You can't stop being nervous. It's this
level of competition - whether really happening or you're scared it will
happen - that makes you to preach how much you love that new catch, how
much you can't live without them, how much you're willing to die for
them (some people really do die. Hmmm, rest in peace!). You're all over
them, and they, too, all over you. Everyone's is ready to snatch your
guy or lady like a trophy. The competition is tense. Protection is
stronger than that of Nigeria's Aso Rock.
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| Photo Credit: Tweakyourbiz.com |
However,
as time goes on, things begin to calm down. To some, it's because
they've 'tasted' each other's 'flesh' and that's all they wanted; to
others, it's because the new catch is not just their type, and the
reasons keep raining down. But as a married person, your reason is simple:
there's no one competing with you to get your husband/wife (I'm not unaware of husband/wife snatchers). Everyone
has left you to enjoy your 'problem' alone. You go to bed you see same
honey. You're taking your bath it's same honey. Everything you do in
this life as a married person is with one person you sentenced yourself
to. Now this is tiring.
Nevertheless, there are couples who love each other like MacDonald's and chicken would, no matter the problems or the years they've been
together. These are the couples who first knew why they got married, enabling them to be ever fresh. These ones are like Paris Saint-Germain who won't just stop winning France's Ligue I competition no matter what. I call them true, die
hard lovers! Please let's clap for mom and dad if they're in this
category; if it's you, then pause and clap for yourself. It ain't easy.
Although you seem to have conquered this problem, please still be
watchful (or should I write about things to do to keep you guys ever
fresh in your marriage?)
Lastly,
like I've always said, marriage is not for kids. Marriage is not for
those who don't know why they want to get married. That you're in a
relationship is no guarantee you must marry the person. This is not to
encourage flirting, but to let you know that your current relationship
might not have been designed to last in marriage. I don't subscribe to being in a relationship without a meaningful purpose, like marriage. So before you jump like
Tom and Jerry because of an engagement ring, before you fall on your
knees like the Pewter Kneeling Knight sculpture to make a marriage proposal to someone, how ready are you for that marriage? How compatible are you guys? What qualities
does the person have? Don't forget, because there's limited or no
competition in marriage, couples are bound to be weary and cheat on each
other. Now you've known this special aspect of marriage, why not share
this with your spouse, friends, children, just to get them prepared for
their future?
Did you learn anything today? Please show Dove some love with a subscription, comment, and share.
*I
want you to feel part of this great platform. You want your wedding
pictures to appear here? Just send them to dovezheart@gmail.com.
Thanks a lot for the time spent. Enjoy your marriage!
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