Hi everyone! Sorry to keep you waiting and a bit starved. It's the effect of the just concluded #Euro2016 finals that kept me hanging in the air. The result was absolutely out of prediction. Who ever thought CR7 would not last on the pitch? Who ever thought goals would be as unavailable as Nokia 3310? Lol. The team I supported between the two? Hmmmm....story for another day. Winks. Anyway, my greatest happiness is that there was no bomb blast, no terrorist attack in France targeted at the tournament, despite the fears we had prior to the tournament's kick-off. I thank God for that; it's worthy of celebration.
Today, I want to relate to us the sad experiences humans give one another on a daily basis, with a focus on what I saw days back. It's something rampant, insane, and inconsiderate that humans do in their relationships. Before I present my thought(s), let me first throw the question to all readers: Why do people win people's hearts, get what they want, only to find faults with their nature and leave them? You likely didn't understand that question, but not to worry.
Imagine you as a lady/man, being on your own, facing your life and all the challenges life could ever bring to your doorstep - challenges too numerous to mention here. Imagine you in this situation, and here comes someone who has promised to commit suicide except you agree to be their partner. They tell you how much they love you, how much they're willing to take care of you, how much they'll always be there for you, how much you mean to them. They 'force' you to fall in love with them, perhaps, giving the whole of your heart and life to them, and putting your trust and hope on them without holding back. You've now found someone to lean on, someone to call a friend, someone to boast of. You begin dating, or possibly, you guys get married. As time goes on they find their way deeply into you, getting what they actually wanted from you, the very reason they came into your life, after which you hear 'I don't want you again!' Now my problem is not that they've decided to leave you, but the very reason why they've made that decision.
Loads of reasons out there why people break up, but our focus here is something different: has anyone ever told you they don't want you again because of how you look naturally? I pray you understand this point immediately. You're leaving a partner because they're fat, slim, disabled, poor, short, too tall and so on? You're leaving someone because he/she is a stammerer? You're breaking up or divorcing someone because you've been told they're trained in the orphanage? You never saw these things before coming to ruin their lives, did you? Now you get where I'm going to.
I'm quiet and observant, an introvert. I make it a routine to visit natural environments - or playgrounds - where I view the harmony in nature, where I can sit and watch people play, especially children. Best time to think, best time to experience peace and beauty, best time to see how things occur. In an area harbouring about 64 visitors that lovely evening, children were running helter-skelter, various sporting activities happening here and there, not to mention those on a selfie spree. Why not? The weather was at its best, the breeze was chilling, birds having it all to themselves, and cars were slowly moving as the traffic lights had ordered them to. There was too much for the eyes, except for some scenario under a tree that caught my attention.
Romantic in outlook, a guy and a lady stole my day as they battled silently in sorting out their differences. It was time to be curious. But how to summon the courage to walk close to them, was another problem. But because it was necessary, I had to watch them closely in order to get a gist for you on how people do things. Uninvited, lurking me, standing close to two 'lovers' just to find out what's happening. Lol.
Hmm...sitting on the field with her back on the tree, the lady, looking out of strength, covered her face as she leaned forward, placing her head on her knees. She maintained this position for a long time, while the guy was busy talking. She would raise her head up for some seconds, starring at the guy with all amount of concern. Tears were dropping from her eyes. I decided to walk closer. People were everywhere, so I wasn't looking like a spy, I felt. I was curious to hear her talk, as the guy spoke way too much. I wanted to hear her own side of the talk. 'So it's now you know I have this mark on my back', she said, raising her head in tears and looking at the guy for some seconds again. 'Tell me, it's now you know I have this mark on my back? It's now you know you don't like the mark. Something...something', she sobbed while the guy jumped in: 'I know it's hot water that poured on your back, but I'm not comfortable with this scar'. 'Please is it my fault that I have this? Tell me!', she continued in a poor and helpless voice. It's a long story.
The lady looked 24-25 and the guy, I would say, appeared around 27-33years of age. From all I could decipher from that day, they've been dating for like a year. They've used the bed, and you know want I mean (as there were mentions of related things). The lady had suffered some hot water burn on her back, probably as a child. The mark is on her back till date. The guy doesn't like it, although that didn't stop him from doing and undoing things for a year.
I don't want to conclude who's bad or at fault here. No, let me not be too fast. But that experience reminded me of so many things I've heard and read and seen for long now. It spoilt my day. I was deep in thoughts. For real, could that mark on the lady's back be the only reason the guy decided to break up that evening? That poor lady never could have wanted that mark on her back if she had a choice. Should humans capitalise on people's natural/uncontrollable shortcomings of this sort to leave them in tears? Instead of leaving them in tears, why not allow them to be in the first place? I know too well sometimes the victim are to blame, only when they're the cause. For instance, your inability to handle yourself with care can result in bad images - poor hygiene resulting in body odour, mouth odour, rashes, etc; lack of exercise resulting in poor body shape, etc. But this lady's case was not her fault, if I should have a say. Maybe she was a careless child when it happened? I wouldn't think that way.
Let's take it that the guy didn't see that burn scar when he wooed the girl years back. But at least, at some point, he became aware of it and I'm sure it wasn't that day I met them. Why did he have to keep it till that day, having 'enjoyed' (themselves) for a year in the presence of that mark? This is same way relationships have been broken out there simply because someone has just realised the other is fat, slim, short and what have you. All these shortcomings never stopped you from taking advantage of them, until that moment you just feel you have got all you wanted. If you don't appreciate people the way nature has placed them, don't go and add to their situations; don't remind them of what they're living with. And guess what? Both men and women are guilty of this type of insane relationship torture.
Let them have the peace they deserve as humans. Ladies and gentlemen, let's give hope to those struggling among us. They're humans. Leave them alone if you don't like their natural shortcomings. Don't leave people in tears for being natural. It-is-not-their-fault!!!
As a word of advice, please always let your partner know all the shortcomings you have - physically and otherwise - so as to determine your future prospects with them. No relationship is by force. Remember you need peace of mind in the long run. When that peace isn't anywhere near.....*you know the rest*
Share your thoughts if you have any, please.
Thanks for your time
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