Lying To The Self: The Mouth Odour Analogy

Credit: Speareducation

It's no breaking news that lying is part of the human race. It's helped many to escape their punishments, while at same time helping others find untold favours from men. It has added huge financial strength to nations and companies, and at same time bring down governments. Lying is not falsehood (when something is 'false', it basically means you didn't know the information wasn't correct. So such isn't intentional. Lying, on the other hand, is intentionally saying what you know is not true. Hence, in your exams, the question paper reads 'True' or 'False'; not 'True' or 'Lie'. This is because the examiners knows picking 'False' means you don't know the answer. If you knew, you wouldn't pick the wrong one. That's why falsehood is not intentional. Lies are intentional). Away from that...

Now imagine if you have mouth odour. You decide to go to a nurse or some doctor out there to complain about this. The presumed specialist asks you if you've been taking care of your mouth well? Your answer obviously becomes a big YES. Meanwhile, in reality, you only rinse your mouth with water or some mouth wash and then rush out to work...this on a daily basis, perhaps. You basically don't brush your mouth well and this you know. But you have successfully lied to the specialist that you do take care of your mouth well. Within you, you know this to be a lie. Sadly, the supposed specialist has forgotten to ask you one important question: how do you take care of your mouth? For not asking you this very question, they unknowingly allow you to lie successfully about your mouth odour situation and, if care is not taken, they lack good prescription for you because you haven't supply them with the right information they need.

Now, imagine you taking another step to report your mouth odour to a dentist. This one knows exactly the questions to ask you, the equipment to use on you, all the ways needed to know the root of your problem. You lying to your dentist might not help, because they are knowledgeable in the field, hence they know how to follow you up.

That's how many of us treat our relationship/marital problems. We just lie about them, coming up with all sorts of emotions just to win the hearts of the people we are reporting the issues to. We go to our family members, relatives and friends and lie about the issues in our relationships and marriages. We cry, feel sad, shout, walk up and down, slam the door and sometimes just be happy while reporting our problems to our presumed listeners, depending on the emotions we want to show them at that time. Sometimes, we just act based on the fact that we don't know how to help, or what to do in such situations. In this case, it's not our intention to lie to our listeners; we just lack the wisdom, the clue to handle it. In all, we end up not providing the necessary information needed to get help.

Credit: Psychologytoday 

In return, these poor listeners who, probably, are not well informed, will jump into a pool of conclusions for us. We heed to their advice and booom! we go put it all into practice, complicating issues for ourselves more than ever.

There is ultimately NO single way one can get solution(s) to one's problems without first being truthful about the problem itself. You can't claim to use ordinary water to rinse your mouth and expect a sweet smelling breath. Same way, you can't keep running away from the truth about your home simply because you want people to side with you. 

Imagine you having an argument with your spouse. You slap your spouse front and back and, in return, they slap you back only once. You get angry and tell the world that your spouse has just beaten you up, without letting them know you actually started the slapping spree. Your advisers ask you to quickly pack out of the house, or to arrest your spouse, or to cause more problem for your spouse. You heed to the half-baked piece of advice. Your home scatters. Who wins?

Wake up, own it, say the truth about it and see it get solved for you. Tell your dentist what it is so they know the best treatment for your mouth odour. Tell your advisers what it is so they know the truth and advise you better.

Merry Christmas in advance, fam!