Should Agnes Really Give Up?

Credit: Paradise News

Here's a story of a young lady, Agnes, whose relationship has got to the point of no hope.

Agnes, 28, is a young graduate from Cross Rivers State, Nigeria, and the first daughter of her family. She got into a relationship with Mike, currently 37, who resides in Jos, Nigeria. The two have been in the relationship since they were 23 and 32, respectively, and everyone around them knows about lover birds. Both families have no visible issues seeing them married.

However, the 5-year-old relationship hit its nose on a monstrous rock when Mike was caught kissing Agnes' friend, Nsima, in a club in Calabar, sometime in April this year. Mike had come from Jos to visit his fiance`, Agnes, in Calabar. Well, he slept in a hotel and wanted to surprise Agnes with an unannounced visit to her family. Unfortunately, Mike had informed Nsima of his coming to Calabar. Although the 26-year-old Nsima is Agnes' seemingly best friend, she felt it was just normal to go hang out with Mike in his hotel that night. After all, nothing sexual was going to happen; it's just for fun; they've been friends for years, though through Agnes.

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Agnes, who's currently doing her post graduate degree at the University of Calabar, was quickly informed by two other female friends who had gone to same club Mike was. One of them knew Mike (through  the many photos on Agnes' phone), but Mike never knew them. Nsima knows these two ladies, but she least expected anyone would see them in such a tight, dark corner they sat that night. Well, nothing hides forever, we should all know.

The next day, Mike was at Agnes' family house with lots of smiles on his face, believing he had come to surprise his woman. Agnes wore an obvious fake smile as she stood at the door looking at her man straight in the eyes, welcomed him in and had her parents come to say hi to Mike. About 15 minutes later, Miss Nsima appeared. Although she knew what had transpired between her and Mike the night before, she pretended to be shocked to see Mike around. Agnes, looking gently at Nsima from up down, smiled again and said: "Well, Mike just came in. I never knew he was around. But was there any need to tell people of his coming?" Nsima was not comfortable being classified as "people", and felt she should ask Agnes why she made such a statement? That aside.

By 4pm the gathering was over and Mike, Agnes and Nsima went to the hotel where Mike's lodging. Immediately Mike and Nsima entered the room, Agnes, who entered last, slammed the door and locked it. "Either you tell me what was happening between the both of you in this room last night, or we may all have to die here!", Agnes screamed. Mike and Nsima looked at each other and, as one wanted to ask Agnes to be straight to the point, the furious fiance` uttered: "And as for you (referring to her friend Nsima), this Calabar will be too small for us to live in!" The rest is history.

The drama began and the story became longer than can be narrated in minutes. Anyway, all we can remember about the hotel room incident is that the three had to contribute to pay for some damaged items caused by their fight, as Nsima had also exposed to Mike right there that Agnes was dating a contractor from Lebanon who came to work in Calabar between October 2018 and March 2019. Nothing has hurt Mike more than this revelation. Mike went back to Jos, sent Agnes a text to move on with her life, and they stopped talking to each other.

Credit: Naijaloaded

Today, the lovely relationship between Agnes and Mike is nearing an end. The duo have not been talking to each other for the past eight weeks. Agnes fought Mike for his affairs with Nsima without thinking about what she first did to Mike. On his own part, Mike got mad at hearing Agnes ever cheated on him. Mike and Agnes still love each other, but they haven't been talking to each other and no. They, however, do find out about each other through other means, and are very much on social media to see how each other is faring. The two friends who reported the affair between Mike and Nsima that night, have advised Agnes to quit the relationship. Two of Agnes' siblings have also hated Mike for having an affair with Nsima. But none of these have been able to advise Agnes that truly, she wronged Mike first and should apologise for her acts. Agnes knows it too well she wronged Mike, but she just doesn't want to be humble about it, probably because Mike slept with Nsima, her best friend. Would Agnes have apologised to Mike if he had an affair with someone else?

Credit: Nigerian Bulletin

While we await your advise for Agnes and Mike, we would like to conclude with this: when you're wrong, accept it and turn a new leaf. If you have advisers around you who can not see your own faults, it's a pity that they will help you ruin what you have built, simply because they think they're supporting you. You know and want your relationship more than any body else on earth does. So you should not be moved by people's wrong advise, even if it's from your family. Having said that, we encourage Agnes to stand to it and tell Mike that she can't leave. She has to acknowledge her wrongs and apologise to Mike. It's her relationship. On the other hand, Mike should also apologise for his affairs with Nsima, and accept Agnes back. It's his relationship. They've both wronged each other on a seemingly similar ground. If they can see their wrongs and repent, they can make a force that no storm can break. We can't win by lying; we can't win by covering our wrongs. The love is there. Add some respect and value to it!