Self Control: A Virtue Always Overlooked In Relationships

Maybe, judging from the title of the post, you're already expecting to read about self control in terms of sexual desire. I'm sorry to disappoint you, as this short piece takes on a different theme entirely: self control in terms of what we do, see, and say. Can you count how many times you've caused problems simply because you failed to control the process? You caught a cheating wife/husband and you quickly reported them to their spouse; you saw a fellow student cheating in exams hall and all you did was to report them to the invigilator; you caught a boy stealing some money and you quickly alerted the crowd. Did your action end the couple's marriage, was the student expelled from school, or did the crowd kill the boy for stealing the money? If yes - or something similar -  then you probably didn't show any iota of self control and wisdom.

In the above analogies, it's very clear that the best thing to do was to handle the culprit yourself, first, by warning, retrieving the object taken, threatening to report them, etc. At times, culprits are not to be condemned at first site - even Jesus refused to condemn the prostitute in the Bible. Culprits are humans. They have feelings like everyone of us. They deserve some protection. They act, at times, unwillingly, overwhelmed by their desires. They need to be guided. They need to be talked to, not embarrassed. This is no denying the fact that some cases just need to be raised to climax immediately. But don't forget to treat every event with a humane heart.

Flash back a little on previous experiences you've got, or what you've heard or seen. Do you feel any regrets for a broken relationship somewhere? Lack of self control in this sense can and has ended people's relationships - in the family, work place, school, friends, name them. At times what we tell the world actually differs from what was committed. Don't forget, if the hands should do everything the mouth says, life would be difficult for humans. But if the mouth should say everything the eyes see, there would be no life left on earth again. Learn to be silent when needed. It helps; it saves lives...and it saves relationships!